I speak of my love for my grandparents often as well as their love for eachother.  I posted about them on their 60th Wedding Anniversary here. And at a very sad time here.  From these two posts I received so many messages, comments, emails and phonecalls from people all around the world sending their love, compassion & prayers to my beautiful Grandnan and Grandpop.  I had not anticipated this at all and I am so grateful for all of your lovely messages, I am sure they contributed to the peace she felt in her last moments.

Gently and peacefully last Wednesday morning Grandnan passed away.  Her Dementia was so severe that she could no longer eat or drink and her body was shutting down. We were told on Tuesday that it was likely to be soon but she fought all day Tuesday and all through the night.  I have no doubt that she waited until Grandpop was able to return to her side before she took her last breath.  I was fortunate enough to have been by her side, along with my Mum and Grandpop.  While I have always been afraid of death, I felt nothing but the pureness of love as she left us.  Grandpop held her hand while Mum rubbed her back and whispered to her ‘It’s okay, you can go to sleep, it’s okay’.  It was the most beautiful thing I have ever experienced.  I am so privileged to have been present for this moment and I truly believe that she knew we were there with her.

Yesterday we celebrated Grandnan’s life at a very special funeral service.  We were expecting family and maybe another 10 people to be there and were honoured and humbled that people from all parts of Grandnan’s life just kept arriving, one after another until we were jam packed full of people. I know that Grandnan would have been so grateful.

My Mum and Uncle Alan shared memories of Grandnan’s life and I read a few words on behalf of all her Grandchildren. It was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do and I cried the whole way through.  Right when I thought I couldn’t do it, I could hear mum Mum whispering to me ‘take a deep breath’ and then my brother appeared by my side.  I would not have had it any other way.

“Grandnan was a light who touched us all.

She showed us how to be strong while still being gentle and loving.

She taught us that everybody deserves happiness, no matter what their circumstances.

She told us never to go to bed on an argument.

And the most wonderful thing she gave us was the opportunity to witness what 62 years of marriage looked like and the beautiful family that grew from that marriage.

We will always be grateful for the day Grandnan rattled her St Johns Ambulance collection tin in the street right under Grandpop’s nose.  For it is this day that their journey began and the reason that we live the lives we now do with the beautiful family we are so lucky to share it with.

Thank you Grandnan.  We will always remember you.”

I consider myself to be so so lucky to have a family who give so much love and this was very evident yesterday.  You can just feel the buzz in the room when we are all together.  Here are a few memories of my Grandnan:  this is at her surpise birthday party, with my cousin and I (Im on the right) helping her blow out the candles….

and holding my baby Charlee when he was less than 12 hours old, this photo will be special to me forever.  Grandnan was always happy with a baby in her arms. So happy and so proud.

Grandnan and Grandpop doing what they loved – dancing together at my wedding in 2005.  Even in her very last weeks, when nobody else could even get her out of bed, Grandpop would take her favourite music to the nursing home and have her dance around the hallways. He has a beautiful heart. This photo is how I will always remember them together.

The last photos I took of Grandnan were a few weeks ago.  Even though she could not even get out of bed, you can clearly see the love between my Mum, Grandnan and Grandpop. It shines like a light bursting from their hearts and reaching for eachother.

In the moment that Grandnan passed on, one thing shone through to me so clearly.  It really does not matter where we go in life. What matters is who we go there with. Because in the very end, all there is is pure, genuine love.

RIP beautiful lady.

xx Merryn

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‘You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.’

- Eleanor Roosevelt

I don’t often post about my personal life. In fact kate and I made a new years resolution to publish more personal posts on this blog but we have not done so yet.  This week I experienced a new level of emotion and feeling that I had not yet experienced. I shake as I type these words. still drawing up the emotion involved in this post.

When I think about ‘Life’ and what it means and why we are here I always come back to the same thing. Love. And when I think about ‘Love’ and what it means I also always come back to the same thing, or the same person I should say, and that is my Grandpop.  He loves my Grandnan at an astronomical level. Like nothing I have ever seen. This is a photo of that gorgeous woman he fell in love with so many years ago…. the first time they met she was collecting money for a charity and he gave her his last penny to be able to speak to her….

A few years ago my Grandnan began to suffer from Dementia. At first it was silly things she would forget, like how to switch on the tv or someone’s name. And gradually it became worse. Now she does not know who I am. She asks me ‘who is the little girl’ about my son and she looks at my husband in a way that I know she is wondering who this strange man is with his arms around me. It is absolutely heart breaking.

My Grandpop is a very special person.  He is not just ‘my’ special person but he is everybody in our families special person. He is there for everybody and would give the shirt off his back. He has worked hard his whole life to give his family opportunities that he never had.  I can talk to him about anything and I share with him everything.  He is 83 years old and he is my Grandnan’s full time carer.

When Grandnan first started changing, Grandpop and I were talking about ‘Love’ and he told me he has never loved her more than he does today. I know that he still feels that right now, right this second.   The next day I was driving down a busy road when I saw out of the corner of my eye an old couple walking hand in hand down the street and I thought to myself how beautiful that was. As I got closer I realised it was them and a tear slid down my cheek as I realised how happy they were just being together.

Almost 50 years ago they made the decision to leave England and everything they knew to live in Australia. They did not know a single soul here. Together they raised their two children, my mum and my uncle and were rewarded with seven Grandchildren, one of whom sadly passed away shortly after she was born. Today they have four Great Grandchildren who absolutely adore them and one more on the way.  Grandpop’s heart is bigger than anybody I have ever known. I sometimes wonder how he has room to fit it all in but I resolve that his heart just keeps growing bigger and bigger.

This is my Grandnan and Grandpop on their wedding day.

Last week my Grandpop was rushed to hospital. This left the family to care for Grandnan. It was very clear that Grandnan needed to be somewhere she could have access to 24 hour care and that Grandpop’s enormous heart overflowing with love was not enough to care for Grandnan anymore.  He was becoming sick too.

Grandpop is out of hospital now and Grandnan has moved into a Nursing Home close by.  A Nursing Home filled with staff who are passionate about their work, who are kind and gentle and soothing.

I can see that this the most painful thing Grandpop has ever felt.  60 years of marriage and they have shared almost every single minute together.  He visits her every day and talks to her about life. He tells her stories about their life together and about our family. He is her best friend and she is his.

Im not sure why I felt to post this.  It was certainly not easy to write. I think I just wanted to share their beautiful never ending love.

Grandpop you are amazing.  You have taught me a new level of love, respect and compassion and I admire you more than anything or anyone else on this earth. I love you and Grandnan with all of my heart and will never, ever let either of you forget it.

xxM

… is to see two people who have lived and loved together for a lifetime. My very special Grandpop and Grandnan shared their 60th wedding anniversary recently. We are so incredibly fortunate to have both grandparents still with us. I still get to cuddle into him when we sit together. I still get to hear those stories over and over. I am even lucky enough to be able to watch him, surrounded by his four great grandchildren who adore him so much, mesmerised by his every word.  As the years go on, my Grandnan is becoming unwell and my Grandpop is her full time carer.  Although she is a different person now than she was only a few years ago he still thinks of her as his beautiful wife who he ‘chatted up’ by donating a penny to her Salvation Army collection tin over 70 years ago.  ’I love her more now than I ever have.’ were his exact words to me one day last year. I can only hope that I am so grateful and so full of love.

They have spent years apart while he was at war. They have experienced tragedy like I can not even imagine. They moved to an unknown country across the other side of the world to make a better life for their family. My Grandpop is the single most wonderful person I have ever known and I truly doubt if there is another person on this planet like him.

Happy 60th Wedding Anniversary to a very very special couple.

and two of Grandpop’s most adoring fans….. my son Charlee (on the right ) and Kate’s son Max (on the left)… both of whom have little ‘quirks’ in the personality which are clearly ‘Grandpop’….

My family is so precious to me.

xxM

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“To live with the conscious knowledge of the shadow of uncertainty,

with the knowledge that disaster or tragedy could strike at any time;

to be afraid and to know and acknowledge your fear,

and still to live creatively and with unstinting love: that is to live with grace.”

- Peter Henry Abrahams